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October 23, 2012
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concerning Chapter 12..

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 23, 2012, 10:38 AM






This feels really weird to post, but...

...I was reading through "SPIKE" just now, something which I haven't done in ages. I thought I'd read some chapters to see if I could find some more mistakes to edit again.
Do you guys remember chapter 12? The one where Charles (or Chuck as he was nicknamed then) is speaking/thinking about his feelings for Spike? I haven't read that chapter in... I dunno, a couple of times since I posted it here on DA? Anyways, for some reason, that chapter just gave me a big punch in the stomach right now.. At least it felt like it, sorta. I had to just pause, stop reading, because I was all, "whoa sh*t, he's... he's .. dangerous, and insane..!" you know? And while I knew this already, since he's my character and I know all about him, this chapter just sort of had a big impact on me. Sort of like, sympathizing with him but being utterly terrified of him at the same time..
I hope this doesn't sound like boasting about my own writing or that it sounds self-centered in any way...
It just felt so weird to read that chapter again.

So, just curious...
how did you feel when you read that chapter? (If you've read it?) (here's a link to it, btw, if you feel like re-reading it: fav.me/d2kueyd )

And if you're a writer too, have you ever felt very emotional (any emotion, like; sad, happy, angry, whatever) over reading something you've written?

I know I sometimes get very absorbed in what I write and stuff, but I suppose that's just because I'm like a mother hen to my characters :XD: ^^; They feel so real to me, you know?
So if they're sad, I get sad because they're sad, and same when they're happy, or scared, etc...


I hope I'm not alone in feeling like this?


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:iconred-mohawk:
red-mohawk Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Student General Artist
When I read it I felt sympathy for Charles. At the same time, I was scared like hell. You capture emotions very well, and your rationalization with your characters is an inspiration. I once wrote this short story I was assigned. I wrote about this girl who pretty much had a miserable life a grotesque woman. Her kids killed, baby beheaded... It was frightening to say the least. It ended with her falling of a bridge.

You're not alone in this. For writers, our characters are part of us. They're our creations.
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:iconsiaxthegreat:
Siaxthegreat Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
It's like trying to hug someone but you have no arms
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:iconrichthewolf257:
RichTheWolf257 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*goes back into my memory and cleans out a few cob-webs* Now lets see... Stardate 21163.3 File i5-DA336. I remember now!

I remember feeling a little scared, but also intrigued. I wanted to get to know the monster, but from a safe distance. And I did get to know the monster. I knew him almost like the back of my hand. I had the insight and understanding necessary to destroy the monster. But I was still powerless to do so. I was helpless to do anything but sit there and fume!
If I were a character in the story, I would've been able to do something, but I wouldn't have known anything about Chuck. I probably wouldn't have known something need to be done. As a character in the story, I probably would've seen Spike as just some wierd emo.
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:iconcoyotewinds:
coyotewinds Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
When I write, I get very attached to my characters! I especially get emotional when I'm reading over a scene where the character is sad, angry, scared, or desperate to do something.

I'm such a bad author, though. I like putting my characters through crap!
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:iconpyrolonewolf:
PyroLoneWolf Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That is probably because you are one of the best people I've Ever seen at capturing emotions, whether it be in your story or your art. It's really amazing and kind of dumbfounding. There's were Many points when reading through your Spike novel that kind of just punched me in the face with emotions. Same with a lot of your art, like you can see the expressions in the characters' eyes alone that tell more than your title/description ever could. You really are amazing!! I can't wait to read the rest of Spike :) Hurry up!! :P

I'm kind of a writer myself, I guess. Every once in awhile I get in the urge and will write some stuff down, but I'm really bad about finishing stuff, and I wouldn't consider myself very good at all ^-^" But I have had a few instances where something like that happened to me. Like I was able to capture what I was imagining in my head so perfectly and deeply that it amazed me. Buuut, I got nothing on you
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:iconshatterwish:
ShatterWish Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
definitely not alone, throughout my stories I often find myself shocked by the emotions put in them.
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:iconglassesofneondoom:
GlassesOfNeonDoom Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012
I'll say that you're good at making your characters feel very real to me.. And this chapter cemented Chuck as, currently, one of my favorite antagonists in a story. He's a complex and insane man whom I want to kill but want to help at the same time. His spontaneous shifts in mood makes him all the more frightening, but it's all underline by motives only he sees as pure.

What's even better is that you gave us his version of the truth--something I hardly see in other writings--and we got to peek into his twisted psyche.
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:iconemerald-owl:
Emerald-Owl Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I felt that way when reading that chapter I'll admit. I was so furious with him but that chapter made me almost pity him. It's so sad to think that that his how his mind works. If that's his twisted way of love, then I just want to hit him over the head and reteach him! But, I love what you brought out of Charles in that chapter and I can't wait till you finish this novel. I will buy it the moment it comes out :D I'm also please that you made Spike and Sam older. I don't know why, but even when reading it and knowing their ages, I still imagines them in their teens anyways because of your drawings.
I personally am just a beginner when it comes to writing so I don't know what it's like to reread something from a few years ago, but I can understand what it's like to reread anything you wrote from years ago. Like a journal entry or something in a yearbook. You may have forgotten what you felt when you wrote that and sometimes it's good to be reminded of those things :)
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:iconjubay-mayju:
Jubay-mayju Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student Writer
i knew i wasnt the only one!XD Yeah, i get pretty emotional about characters i create and other people OC's like yourself. None of my friends at school are " the writing and reading type" so its hard to explain my feelings about the little people who run around in my little imaginary world that only i know. :P Becuase i know that they are not real and that im just a loser with too many OC's.XD I get really emotional sometimes, especialy with your characters, becuase there so well thought out and i know that there just characters but they really get to me, ya know? Like i feel really bad for Spike becuase of his life and i can feel Sam's love. Im sorry, ill stop now. :P
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:iconstorytellingchoir:
StoryTellingChoir Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I was both upset about his sick mind, sad, even pitying the way he feels, absolutely terrified and disgusted by his potential and his acts... Most of all, I'm so very afraid for Spike - The way Chuck doesn't know and does know what he wants to do to him ("He wanted to hurt him, to protect him, to watch his guts spill out, to sleep next to him every night, to rip his eyes out, to kiss his lips, to watch him suffer, to see him smile."). It scares me, on behalf of Spikes well-being, it scares me to know that his character is like that. So no, you're not alone about getting absorbed by a written piece and be scared shitless about what you just read. I'm not the person who's up front with her emotions, but this chapter triggered a mix of disgust, pity, hate, and many unnamed emotions. Well done!

Also, I still have to praise your writing. "But he will never love me back , Chuck thought bitterly and left the room with hateful eyes." Best way you could end that chapter...
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