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Flesh - a short story

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This is a short story I wrote once that was based on a dream I had. When I woke up from that dream, I luckily wrote down everything I remembered, and from those notes, I made this.
It was originally written in Norwegians, so all the names are in Norwegian.. Hope it doesn't make it difficult to read.. :B

Also, this is my first attempt since junior high to write a short story. Normally I write novels.. XD
So if you have any critique, let me know :)

I wanted to post this so you could have something else to read while waiting for SPIKE to get finished. :3

I'm very curious to hear what you guys think of this.. ^^; *nervous*





ok, I'll shut up now..



story created and written by: Elise Marie Syvertsen 2011
Image size
727x3471px 932.16 KB
© 2011 - 2024 oomizuao
Comments94
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JenniFeary's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

This short story has an extremely great use of imagery. Your use of words paint a very vivid image for the reader. Your style of writing is fantastic as well. This story is very well written. I would even go as far as to say you are as skilled with words as the professionals. This piece had great emotionally impact. And was all in all a very powerful piece. I honestly have nothing negative to say about this. I could see it as though it were a film playing out due to how excellent the imagery was. I think your two strongest skills here are imagery and ability to convey all levels of emotions. It makes the reader get a sense of empathy. I could feel the pain, the sorrow despite never having gone through these things myself. Bravo OOmi! Hands down, the best short story I have read in years.